We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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