So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
