how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
