Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize