If that was your dad, he is hot
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
