Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
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