They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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