I can tuck mytits in my pants
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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