I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
