We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
