I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
