remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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