You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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