Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
