what if every blade of grass was a penis?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
