where am i from again
i dont even know how to be here
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
my liver is dry heaving
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
