In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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