I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize