Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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