Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
