Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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