his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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