Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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