Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
