he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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