Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
