What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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