we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
