If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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