You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you have to choose: penises or morals?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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