I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
