I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
