Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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