Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
