i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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