Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
