he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
