what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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