she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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