i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
