these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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