the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
not ubering you a puppy
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
