dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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