Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
