Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
