Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize