Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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