She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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