how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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