go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
