i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
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I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
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We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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