question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
