where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
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I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
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just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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