you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
