butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
