I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
