I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
