Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We left the knife in your bed.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
