My balls are so social today.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
