Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
