the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Shame - the story of my life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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