I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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