I can text with my tongue
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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